Last month, we completed our team performance workshop. One of the discussion topics was goal setting. Then we discussed about giving feedback and 2015 work plan. While I am sitting in the room, quietly I am thinking to myself that I would need to do that for my personal life too.
As year 2014 is drawing to a close, year 2015 is just within reach. Many people will probably get excited to write about their look back and resolution, but I am already feeling that this post is not going to be a pleasant one. I hate to admit but 2014 has been a very stressful and difficult year for me.
Flashing back on year 2014, there are too many occasions that my stress level was high, my cortisol level is hitting the ceiling. For a very long period of time, I have been in a state of lethargic and constant tiredness. They both come from the different expectation of work life and personal relationship. I know that others will expect me to react, but knowing my own characters, I will just show off my face and walk away to avoid argument, whether you get it or not. Yes, I know that this is the worst way to communicate. Sometimes, I do try to open up to talk about it but when talking doesn’t do the job, I will revert back to my old self. Perhaps, I will have to continue brush up my communication and emotional intelligence skill in year 2015.
2014 has also been a very sickful year for me. I have been fallen ill almost once every month in the year. I have been trying to convince others and myself that it is because I am bad at adapting to cold. While I know that besides the cold weather, there are many other contributing factors. The stress level has impacted my immune system. Besides, Xi Ning has not been very well particularly latter half of the year. She has developed eczema and often can’t sleep well due to itchiness and scratching throughout the night. That made her to be even more demanding of her breastmilk in the night. I have to wake up many times in the night to feed her and rub her back to soothe her so that she can fall back to sleep. It has never been a sleep through night for me. Very often, when she is not well, then it is my turn to fall sick partly because of the transfer of virus and the overnight taking care. Lacking the quality sleep coupled with everyday work, there is no much room left for me to take a slow time to relax or do something I enjoy. Of course, I would not complain much about this. I do this out of love and that the only one thing I want is for her to get well.
While 2014 couldn’t be bad for all year long, we visited a few beautiful countries, i.e. Spain, Iceland and Amsterdam. They are all very worth visiting. It is a shame of me that I have not enjoyed them to the fullest. It is the negativity accumulated around the year that caused me to lose sight of the beauty of all things.
Depressing as it may sound, I don’t plan to set a goal or a hard target for myself next year. Goal is something tangible, or measurable that one aimed to achieve. Next year, all I wanted to do is sit back and embrace on what life has planned upon me. But, I do have a few wishes in 2015. Hmm…I wish, I wish, I wish…
Nothing beat having a healthy body and minds to materialise all the things we wish to do. That is the first thing I would wish for my family. For those of us who are staying far away from family, receiving phone calls and emails at unexpected time have always created bad feelings and sent chill to me. Last month when my dad called me unexpectedly while I was working in the office, it was again those creepy bad feeling struck me immediately. As suspected, my dad has not been feeling well where he suffered some chest pain. It was an early discovery that he had some blockages in his arteries. This could lead to a stroke if it was not discovered and treated early. Following that, he underwent some treatment to clear the blockages and it was a success. Needless to say, it was a real great relief for me. In year 2015, the first thing I wish for will be my families to be healthy and happy that they can enjoy whatever they wish to do.
While for myself, I wish that I can continue to grow and learn the wisdom to handle all the challenges that fall upon me without creating a bad atmosphere for people around me. I wish I can attain the inner peace and state of bliss. I wish I could get back my appreciation for the beauty of all things.
For Xi Ning my lovely daughter, I wish she continues to grow healthily and be a good person. I wish you enjoy every phase of development and may love always be with you.
For my hubby, I wish he continues to achieve his goals and be happy.
May year 2015 be a good year for all of us.
This year during the Chinese Moon Cake festival, we had the Aberdeen Malaysian friends came over. Everyone enjoyed making their lanterns.
We headed down to the Aberdeen beach esplanade for the kids to have a walk with their lanterns. While the adults busy writing down their wishes on the Kong Ming lantern.
I think the children are really quite excited. Xi Ning is squatting happily at the front posing for photos.
Oh. Now they are ready to ” roar”.
Hubby and baby Xi Ning are feeling chilly.
Oh yes oh yes, let’s make a wish and wish our wishes come true !